- i can say no more than because he was he, and i was i.
3 n a half yrs....these memories still havent pass me by untill lately i realize that its slipping away. i no longer remember his birthday nor his face, not even what he had said. what's left are pictures in my head that dont seem to connect to each other anymore.
i often ask myself y im still so in love with a person that was unloyal to me. i still havent found the answer. maybe its a natural human behavior to long for something they cant have? thats how humans are, always in for competitions with their inner selves and others. maybe thats how i end up with boyfriends i dont even like. not because they're rich, not because they are good-looking, but because they were all hard to get.
am i in an unstable mental condition? i dont know how to love or what it is anymore. without someone here with me, i feel desperate and lonely. therefore, i chose to have someone there rather than to wait for, i dont even know how long, someone who deserves my love shows up. maybe, never. it's because i constantly tell myself, i'll never love someone as much as i loved him. its a promise to myself.
my friends all try to persuade me to let go, i cant. they tell me he was not worth it, but that's not what i think. i know if he's worth it or not. they couldn't have understood what went wrong between us and why im still so stubborned about it. i have to take a big part of responsibility for our parting. i didn't know and still don't know how to communicate with people. all i tell my friends is - i can say no more than because he was he, and i was i.
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